aquababie’s world

for a while the 4th of july served as a painful reminder for my family.  we don’t celebrate it because of america’s freedom lack of black america’s freedom.  for my family it was the time when all of us had time to see each other after a year apart.  my stepdad passed away on july 6th a few years back.  after that, the holiday lost its luster.   

my mom and bill started seeing other about a year or so after my parents divorced.  instantly i had two tremendous father figures.  i know folk who never had one.  i always felt blessed to have two strong black men who shared their lives with me.  but anyone that knew bill was blessed to know a man with the kindest and biggest heart on this earth.  i guess his heart couldn’t take it anymore and it failed him.  he was generous to a fault, even to those he barely knew. 

it was a few things bill loved.  he loved my mom.  he loved his kids.  he loved his hennessy.  and he loved his bbq.  this man would light a grill no matter what.  if it rained, he would pull the grill under the carport.  the show had to go on.  the thing was though, bill would burn the shit out of the meat.  this would occur not all the time, but often enough where he garned a reputation for burnt bbq.    this is by no means an exaggeration.  i could tell you stories of burnt baby back ribs, blackened t-bones, crispy chicken and lighter fluid turkeys. 

the thing was he tried and kept trying because spending time with us was more important than any of the shit destroyed on the grill.   the first year after he died, my mother couldn’t even think of going near a grill.  years later, it’s much better.  i always think of bill when this time of year rolls around.

it’s time like this when i wish both my fathers were still here.  but i have two pieces of advice from bill i hold on to…"adversity breeds character" and "fuck ‘em".  both have come in handy these last few weeks. 

william granville tillman you are truly missed.